The article by the Perlis Mufti associating with the above title had sparkled a whirl in my mind. He articulated his depth knowledge on marriage in that article. To quote a line from his speech before his retirement which I endorsed as earth-shattering remarks from a well-known pious Muslim:
"
Urusan kenduri kahwin atau walimah telah dijadikan jambatan kesombongan ibu bapa atau keluarga sehingga ditangguh perkahwinan bagi memboleh kenduri besar-besaran dibuat demi menjaga taraf ‘jenama keluarga’. Sehingga ada pasangan yang terpaksa menunggu bertahun kerananya"
I believe such scenarios are typical or not to be exaggerated, had become part and parcel of the Malay community. Such conditions imposed by parents had even led the couples to commit sins outside of the wedlock, so to commit vices are easier than to marry your loved one officially. Everyone wants his/her wedding day to be a moment to be remembered throughout his/her entire life. But could you sustain the consequences when your dream goes beyond your financial capability?Is it worth-taking to borrow loan for the sake of showing-off and later live a miserable life?
I'm not saying that a grand wedding ceremony is wrong. If you have sufficient saving or your parents are rich, a big celebration is worthful. But if you are in the group of 'the exceptions', think twice of the financial restraints afterwards. To quote a hadith from the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), "
Buatlah walimah walaupun sekadar seekor kambing”. Islam enjoined his followers to practice
wasadtiyah (moderation) in all aspects.
If I'm going to tie the knot, I will arrange it to be as simple as possible. Do not expect to see me blinking the fake eyelashes and wrinkled a non-stop smile on the wedding altar (pelamin). My future wedding would possibly be:
1) A simple solemnisation (akad) in the mosque would be sufficient. No wedding altar or decorated bedroom.
2) I would not mind if my future husband do not give any single cent of 'duit hantaran' or even the nil amount of the gifts. I won't burden him with financial restraints before or after the marriage or even staking his life borrowing money from 'Ah Long'. I believe that 'Compatibility with each other's company after the wedding day is more important rather than these trivial things'.
3) I always feel delighted with the 'encounter of marvelous food', so I wish my guests will feel the same with a range of different stalls from the traditional Kelantanese cuisines to the Western menus, ala-ala food court. Insya-Allah if I have sufficient budget.
4) Travelling to a few places ala ala backpackers after the wedding, and capturing our best moments so that we can always track down the memory lane.
5) Oh ya, no wedding ring! My fingers can easily get itchy whenever I wear any ring, even the gold one. Love is made from the heaven (as the chapter begins with Adam and Eve).You can never equate your love with a tangible thing kan?
Am I dreaming far away with the fairies?
Banana-Strawberry ice-blended (can't be described by words!)
Spaghetti Carbonara with Cordon Blue
Mee Raja Ayam
Nasi Goreng Ketam
Sumpah tak sedap..hihi
