Monday, December 08, 2008

Enjoining the haram, forbidding the halal

The article by the Perlis Mufti associating with the above title had sparkled a whirl in my mind. He articulated his depth knowledge on marriage in that article. To quote a line from his speech before his retirement which I endorsed as earth-shattering remarks from a well-known pious Muslim:

"Urusan kenduri kahwin atau walimah telah dijadikan jambatan kesombongan ibu bapa atau keluarga sehingga ditangguh perkahwinan bagi memboleh kenduri besar-besaran dibuat demi menjaga taraf ‘jenama keluarga’. Sehingga ada pasangan yang terpaksa menunggu bertahun kerananya"

I believe such scenarios are typical or not to be exaggerated, had become part and parcel of the Malay community. Such conditions imposed by parents had even led the couples to commit sins outside of the wedlock, so to commit vices are easier than to marry your loved one officially. Everyone wants his/her wedding day to be a moment to be remembered throughout his/her entire life. But could you sustain the consequences when your dream goes beyond your financial capability?Is it worth-taking to borrow loan for the sake of showing-off and later live a miserable life?

I'm not saying that a grand wedding ceremony is wrong. If you have sufficient saving or your parents are rich, a big celebration is worthful. But if you are in the group of 'the exceptions', think twice of the financial restraints afterwards. To quote a hadith from the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), "Buatlah walimah walaupun sekadar seekor kambing”. Islam enjoined his followers to practice wasadtiyah (moderation) in all aspects.

If I'm going to tie the knot, I will arrange it to be as simple as possible. Do not expect to see me blinking the fake eyelashes and wrinkled a non-stop smile on the wedding altar (pelamin). My future wedding would possibly be:

1) A simple solemnisation (akad) in the mosque would be sufficient. No wedding altar or decorated bedroom.
2) I would not mind if my future husband do not give any single cent of 'duit hantaran' or even the nil amount of the gifts. I won't burden him with financial restraints before or after the marriage or even staking his life borrowing money from 'Ah Long'. I believe that 'Compatibility with each other's company after the wedding day is more important rather than these trivial things'.
3) I always feel delighted with the 'encounter of marvelous food', so I wish my guests will feel the same with a range of different stalls from the traditional Kelantanese cuisines to the Western menus, ala-ala food court. Insya-Allah if I have sufficient budget.
4) Travelling to a few places ala ala backpackers after the wedding, and capturing our best moments so that we can always track down the memory lane.
5) Oh ya, no wedding ring! My fingers can easily get itchy whenever I wear any ring, even the gold one. Love is made from the heaven (as the chapter begins with Adam and Eve).You can never equate your love with a tangible thing kan?

Am I dreaming far away with the fairies?

16 comments:

Faridz Yunus said...

xabis duit la wat gni..wakakaka..jgn menyesal..huhuhuhu

Darab Dua said...

sengih molek abe atah nih baco entri nih.
haha~

tiey said...

whoahhh....best la gewe mg....

tiey said...

eh..nk kawen jgn segan2 ajok aku =p

Wan Farhanim said...

faridz: dok pun..dr stick to those stupid malay adat lg la sy nyesal.

darab dua: hahahahah

tiey: toktau lg bilo la tiey...:P

Nayrell said...

Oh wow...no wedding altar?at all?
hanim kalau u tak senyum nnti jdk pengantin emo plk...hehe;p
If ring makes ur finger itch u can still replace it by a bracelet,a necklace or an earrings...

but yeah you are right,do a ceremony according to our financial capability.jgn sampai lepas kahwin hutang keliling pingang plk...where actually all that money can be use to start a new life and build a family kan...

Wan Farhanim said...

haha..ya la...tak sukaaa jd keras mcm patung atas wedding altar..:P..takde altar pun boleh senyum2 kan?:P

haha i can only wear necklace,earrings pun tak boleh pakai..:P..

u takpe,confirm grand punye.=).I'm talking about certain ppl yg buat grand2 smpai kena buat loan, or suffer gile after the wedding day.sbb i blk hr tu byk org buat wedding..haha

Anonymous said...

hahahah u r rite...make it simple but nice.heheh =) make tu peting dp?? hahaha isi perut.ahha so lg make meja pengantin peting jgk..ahaha kalu dp lapa tue ore kato.mauahha payed sedak molek tue..tp xpaka wedding ring ado rata pun jale..hahaha payed tue sengeh2 doh tue..bleh doh slow..muaahaha

Faridz Yunus said...

nak buat rilek2 pun merangkak lagi..nak grand2 kena tggu umur 40 la..hahahaha

Wan Farhanim said...

wanis: pengantin dok huha huha skali ngn saing2 takpo.rilek2 sudoh.:D.tu laaa.bleh paka rantai jah..tp tokse besa2 mcm tok peraih.hihi

faridz yunus: chill bro!

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